I am not an
expert, but from what I have observed – I have concluded that it can be
confusing and frustrating when a girl says one thing and means another. One
important thing to note about women is that most of the time – you cannot take
their words literally. Women are incredibly equipped to be able to read between the lines and pick-up on things that are not being “said”.
This is one of the
primary ways in which they create and maintain relationships with other women
and the people around them. If you actually watch two women interact with one
another – you will see that they are always
reading behind the lines to identify the true meaning of what is being said.
The majority of men are very literal. We take things at face value. Thus, the
difference in communication styles creates discrepancies. Please feel free to
use this post as a translation guide. And, if there is a common phrase that I
missed which you would like a translation for, please leave it in the comments
below and I will explain it.
She says: “I’m
fine”
What she means:
There is something wrong. And, you should know that when she says she's fine – she's really not. Why she does this:
She wants you to care enough to first notice that something is wrong and then
secondly, ask her questions to determine what’s really on her mind. What you should
do: When a woman tells you she is fine – realise that it’s a red flag that
something is up. You get one point for noticing. And, one point for doing
something about it. More often than not, she will either be feeling vulnerable
or angry about something. If she is feeling vulnerable, focus more on
reassurance. If she is feeling angry, focus on getting her to lighten-up, laugh,
and relax a little more.
She says: “Just
forget about it”
What she means is:
just forget about it…for now, because she's frustrated she's not getting her point
across to you. And, if she further argues with you, she's probably going to cry or be
really upset. But she's too angry right now to be upset. Why she does this:
To end the conversation before she gets too upset or to alert you that she is
actually annoyed about something. What you should
do: Find out where the misunderstanding lies. Most of the time she will say
this because she feels like you don’t understand something that she is trying
to communicate with you. Tell her you won’t forget about it until she tells you
what’s really going on. Don’t interpret it literally.
She says: “I’ll be five minutes”
What she means:
Whatever a woman says she needs time for, it’s best to at least double that.
So, if she says five minutes – then expect at least 10 minutes. This is important
for shorter time frames, but it decreases as the time frame expands. So if she
says three hours then estimate about 4.5 to 5 hours…not 6.
Why she does this:
Women genuinely believe that they can get things done within that time frame.
But reality doesn’t usually match the expectation. What you should
do: Use the time formula to expect what time she really needs. Don’t hold it
against her – if she exceeds her time. Just accommodate it into your plans. Never accuse a woman of being late. She's a woman for crying out loud. How about you stick to your lane?
She says: “Isn’t
that girl hot?”
What she means:
Reassure me that I’m prettier. Why she does this:
She wants to know if you will be easily swayed by the next hot girl to test how
faithful you are to her. What you should
do: Be playful about it and then highlight something that you like better about
her.
She says: “Let’s
just be friends”
What she means: I
don’t feel enough attraction for you to be more than that.
Why she does this:
She feels that it will be a softer way of letting you down. What you should
do: Stop mopping around about being friend-zoned. If you value her as friend – then work on being her friend. If you are only
really interested in her in that romantic way, then focus on changing the
chemistry of the relationship – which may involve going away for a short bit
and coming back with a different game plan. However, you also stand a massive chance of losing her completely.
She says: “I’m not
interesting in dating anyone at the moment”
What she means:
I’m not interested in dating you. Sir, you fall under the "anyone" category. Why she does this:
She doesn’t want to bluntly say the above. What you should
do: It depends on the context in which she has said this. If it’s just a random
comment while mid conversation – it could be a hint that she doesn’t feel
attracted to you, yet. In this case, you want to focus on building that
attraction, connection, and spark. If she says this while you are planning to
take her on a date or trying to launch a kiss – then it’s a definite that she isn’t
at the point where she feels that physical attraction for you. Stick to your lane.
She says: “Some guy was hitting on me yesterday…”
What she means:
Are you going to be jealous that a guy hit on me? Why she does this:
She wants to know if you care enough to be a little protective over her. She
wants reassurance that you appreciate her. What you should
do: Don’t act in the extreme. She's the drama Queen, not you. So, don’t react with intense jealousy or with
complete ignorance. Rather, take it on board, respond calmly and add a subtle
suggestion that you are glad she is your girl and not someone else’s. Don't ignore brush it off.
She says: “You can go if you want to…”
What she means: I
dare you to go, but you don’t have my permission. I won’t stop you from going, but you will pay for it later. Why she does this:
She is upset that you going for whatever reason and expects you to take her
feelings into consideration before you make that decision. What you should
do: Don’t automatically give in. Most of the time acknowledge her feelings,
reassure her – and then make the best decision for you. She may not like it
initially – but she will learn to respect it.
She asks: “What
was your last girlfriend like?”
What she means:
How does she compare to her? Why she does this:
She is looking for reasons why she would be a better match for you. She also
wants to gauge how much of a grip the past has on you – to see your longer term
viability and emotional availability. What you should
do: Talk from a neutral state about your ex and then highlight certain things
that you really like about your current girl.
Obviously, each situation is a little different. But these translations
serve as a general guideline as to what a woman usually means when she says
something. Your course of action is always up to you. My advice is to
experiment with by responding in ways you usually would and then trying some of
these suggestions out and gauging if you get a different response. If, there
was a phrase that you would really like translated then let me know what it is
in the comments below. Colosians 4:6
