RELATIONSHIP ISSUES AT THE WORKPLACE

I am no expert, but I have observed and concluded that having a romantic relationship at work is the toughest.

Is there someone in your office with whom you find it challenging to deal? Is your life at work being harmed by a difficult relationship? It could be with a colleague, business partner, manager, director, customer or supplier.

So, let’s look at some strategies:

Value the differences: Being human, we all naturally relate better and more quickly to those we perceive as being like us. The solution is to identify the differences and to value the dissimilarities and variances between personalities and cultures. (Think about it: if oranges, apples and mangoes were all the same shape, colour and taste — meals would be very boring).

The 24-hour wait: If someone has said or done something that you don’t like, then endeavour not to react immediately. Try ‘sleeping on it’ and your perspective may well be different in the morning, plus the way that you decide to deal with the situation may be more professional and better considered.

Talk it out: If you really have a continuing problem with someone, you can just bury your head in the sand and become more angry and frustrated or, alternatively, you can take the initiative and arrange a convenient time and place to talk. I appreciate that in the short term, you may not wish to do this but in the long term, it could have measurable benefits to your relationship and subsequent interaction. (This applies whether the individual is above or below you in the corporate hierarchical structure).

Therefore, [a] choose a time and place; [b] acknowledge there are problems between you; [c] outline the conduct that you find a problem, and give examples; [d] explain how this affects you and [e] find out what you can both do to improve the relationship.

This should be a two-way communication, plus an opportunity to negotiate issues and find a common way forward that is acceptable to you both.

Be positive and interested: If you don’t like someone, it is tempting to share these feelings with your fellow colleagues, but this is just the time for tact and diplomacy. Gossiping can destroy morale and productivity and, however unpopular the other person may be, it can also impact your own reputation. If you need to offload your feelings, then find a trusted friend or even a family member who will listen and allow you to vent your feelings, safely.

Look from the other person’s perspective: This will mean putting your own views and judgments to one side and looking at the problem as if you were the other individual. With this technique of being empathic, it can be surprising how different a relationship can look from the other side.

Of course, such a relationship will only improve if both of you really want it and are prepared to work at it and, may be, make concessions. It may take more than one meeting to improve the connection and establish a rapport. But if you are willing to take this tangible first step, then you may well find that the rest will follow far more easily than you first thought possible.